The power of funk, but only on Tuesdays between 2 and 3 AM.

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The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to reproduce asexually.

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The power to read terms and conditions

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the power to be infinitely constipated

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Being Aquaman

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The power to control people minds, but in the world only remains a few blonds and you.

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The power to aquire pointless superpowers

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The ability to immediately gain stage four stomach cancer.

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to lick your own tongue

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the power to get alot of subscribers but only you can see them.

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The power to see 3-D movies in 2-D.

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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The power to manage Chelsea FC

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The power to come back after death (you get a week or so to show of to people before you die again).

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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X ray vision on chairs

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The power to eat anything, as long as it's food

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Grass eating

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The power to create a slight aroma of cucumbers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!