power to be the smartest creature in the universe but only 3 seconds a day

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the ability to make your penis more sophistcated than yourself

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the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to solve any problem with another problem e.g. Putting out a house fire with a flash flood.

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thee power to not eat but still starve

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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constantly flowing sexy anime hair.

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The power to never have fun...never.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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The power to take offence to anything said or done like it matters...

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The power to drink dihydrogen monoxide without dying.

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The ability to predict the future .000001 seconds in advance.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to be immune to everything,except things that can kill you.

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The power to remove cancer from stroke victim's bodies.

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The power to see through things like locked cabinets, wrapped birthday presents etc. But only if you know whats inside.

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Invisible handwriting.

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The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

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The power to shed hair

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!