The power of eating but only when you're dead

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The ability to fly while in an airplane

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The power to realize that I am starting to sound (and type) more and more like Salvador Dali, and being proud because the man was a genius, the most fantastic thing he could do every morning, was to wake up with a person as fantastic as himself! And while he indeed walked a different path than most do, no one can deny his footprints are clearer than most... Perfection? A losers wish... to be outstanding... is a gift on its own. Moral: Yeah many of you see this as pointless, so I thought I could just as well add it. While I dream of the age where people stop looking for Gods and strengthen the most powerful tool in the universe: YOU.

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To see what you are currently doing from the same perspective of your regular vision, with the ability to understand that you're doing it. But not have the ability to stop yourself from doing what you were going to do as if you didn't have the power.

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The power to naturally wake up at a certain time but only if you set an alarm.

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The power to wear shirts considerably more often than others.

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The power to talk and listen at the same time

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Levitation Power but only 3 inch from ground,

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The power to run through walls, but you have to be running at full speed.... and it only works 50% of the time.

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The ablility to think of the worst racial slurs, but only when a member of that race is nearby.

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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the power to beathe

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the power to bleed to death from a paper cut.

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The ability to open electronics-packaging without scissors.

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power to be the best theif ever known to man but only if your in the most high tech prison

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The power to fart 5 times bigger

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being able to turn lead into dolphins.

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the power to end sentences with prepositions.

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The power to walk on water, but only if it contains exactly 0.25 ppm of Aluminum.

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Being able to throw away the piece of toilet paper with which you wiped your ass without looking it.

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!