The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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Be able to create fire with your hands but you are not invisible to it

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The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

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the power to make to much coffee

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The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

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The power to vote for Donald trump as president

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power to be invisible to eligible singles.

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The power to read minds but only if the person is thinking the exact same thing as you.

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The power to die but once

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The power to to kill chickens by touching them

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the ability to die at will, just by blinking

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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the power to breath fire but only on days that don't end in Y.

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The power to turn red blood cells red

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The power to not be funny

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The ability to fly, but only during thunderstorms.

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The ability to poop glue.

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The power to make food slightly smaller.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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The power to turn pizza into math worksheets. -Big C

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the power to read word that are the right way up upside down, but not read words that are upside down the right way up

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!