Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to burst into flames (Like the Human Torch), but immediately burn to death after doing so.

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the power to fly, only when in the cabin of an airplane

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ??!l!q? ???

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The ability to defecate red clay bricks when startled or scared

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The power to think of your death and then you die.

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The power to orgasm every five.. UGGHOOOAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Power to sleep without eyelids

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the ability to rick roll anyone you meet

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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the power to superglue ur balls to ur thigh

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power drown in water

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to know all the answers in the test when the test is over

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the power to fly but your an Altophobic

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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The power to remember your name without a name tag

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the ability to not hear or feel yourself pass gas that is abnormally loud.

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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the power of reading your own mind while in a car accident

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The power to laugh with you shitty powers...

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!