The power to grow the pinky nail of your right hand

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The power to sing but your mute

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The power to look extremely attractive, only when ugly people are looking at you

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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the power of piss mountain dew and shit cheeseburgers

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The powr too not bee abal too tipe

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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for every time you get emotionally hurt part of you body actually decompose and die.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to be able to run at the speed of light only when you have no energy to stand up

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The power to consume extrement and expire. Nero: This is simply my seal of quality.

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The ability to change the writing on signs

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The ability to remember what you don't want to remember

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The power to become as drunk as you want without drinking anything, but having to sober up naturally

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The power to cheat on your wife with your wife only if shes on her period

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the power to have sex with a woman and then cause her to think she was raped.

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The power to be -100% faster...

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The power to do EXACTLY nothing

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The power to make hair grow in your forehead

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The power to be fireproof under water

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The ability to look really good, but your invisible.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!