the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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The ability to turn into Jeff the Magic Cactus Baby, for a second, while you are sleeping.

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the ability to clean cuz women are supposed to do it for us

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The ability to go poop and pee.

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The power to communicate with inter-dimensional beings, but they're reeeeally annoying.

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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Now you can stop the time for half a second, while walking against a strong wind.

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The power to ejaculate 100 times a day without sperm coming out and having to jack off :)

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The power to aquire pointless superpowers

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to travel back in time to the 1800s but only as a black guy.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

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The power to predict the past.

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The power to divide by zero, but not remember how when someone asks you.

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The power to stretch your tounge but it can only curve in a way that it only get inside your anus.

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The ability to smell colors

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the power to see the present

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to get the ketchup bottle open.

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the power to eat 3 times the amount of jello that a normal person can

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The power to undress using your mind...but only when in the presense of a rapist

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Tree powers Activate.

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The power to ask sarah jessica parker, "why the long face?"

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!