The ability to control the universe everytime you lick your own elbow!

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The power to mis-spell words but only on the internet

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the power to taste your own spit

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The power to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to fly but only during a severe hail storm

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The Power of Anti-Sex

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The power to create a rainbow when you fart.

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The power to rip open my shirt to show a s t-shirt

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to... We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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The ability to teleport anywhere in the world on the first Monday of February at 4:00 am

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The power to naturally wake up at a certain time but only if you set an alarm.

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The power to live.

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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The power to sing as well as Justin Bieber.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The Power to sit down only on chair made of knives.

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The power of night-blindness.

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The power to understand animals but only extinct animals

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The ability to walk on your hands, but only when they are attached to your legs.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!