The ability to summon CHUCK NORRIS, but only while naked.

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The ability to gain more intelligence every second, while whacking your head on a pole, knocking out your brain cells.

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the power to the power to put water in you whenever except fr when you are thirsty

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to switch gender identity

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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The power to lick your elbow.

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Turn gold into lead.

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The power to be immortal but only in times where it does not mater, stops working after the age of 50.

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The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

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the power to sh*t brix at will!

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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The ability to pull open push only doors

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to not be killed by anything that can't kill you.

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The power to predict the present

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The ability to change races.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The ability of holding your breath for the rest of your life.

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!