The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

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The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

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the ability to kill people with your mind as long as they are dead

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the power to ejaculate so hard it rips a hole right through anythin thats within 5 meters of you

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The power to sneeze in front of birthday cakes

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The power to die at will.

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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the power to sit down in mid air

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The power to get the ketchup bottle open.

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yo mama

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your balls glow in the dark 6am every day

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the power to fly in space

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To be able to estimate time between 5:00am and 5:07am

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the power to transform into Pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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The power to fluently speak all languages of the world but only when you are sleeping.

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The power to turn into a taxi

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The power to inflict Cellulite at touch.

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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the ability to commit a crime and be arrested for twice as long as you should have been in the first place

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The ability to fly 6 inches off the ground

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The ability to read one's own mind.

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the power of reading your own mind while in a car accident

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The ability to stop time, but not start it agian.

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The Power to climb on your own shoulders.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!