The power look completely butiful but Only in complete darkness

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The Power To Only Be Able To Move Yourself (including wheelchairs and all that) 1 meter in the entire life of the universe

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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to make your bowel work backwards

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the power to have super strength but only while your sleeping

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The power to open any door by using the proper key.

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The power to fly but fall exactly in 1 second

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the power to never orgasm.

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The power to grow a beard really fast but only relative to the hair on your head

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The power to draw a perfect circle.

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Look! In the sky! its captain beesting!

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The power to obtain money, by going to work

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The ability to think the thought you thought of is the same thought as another persons thought while thinking of that thought.

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the power to know what time is not

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The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

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The power to always be at half mast.

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The power to live.

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The power to know what you would look like if you were ugly.

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the power to be in AA.

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the power to read this sentence

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The power to transform into anyone, but only in caricature form.

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the power to make bubles without soap

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!