power to type using my head.. .because my fingers are there

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The power to die when you get scared.

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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the power to talk to people off long distances,but only with communicational devices.

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The power to teleport to Northern Siberia with only a speedo on.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

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the power to grow stings out of your genitals

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The power to move things by 1cm with your mind.l

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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The power to bend a bendy straw faster than the speed of light.

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to see Waldo everywhere you look, unless your looking at his books

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The ability to handle the truth.

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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The power to do EXACTLY nothing

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The power to fly when your touching the ground

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The power to eat toilet paper and crap self-wiping poop. Think about it...

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The ability to blow strawberries

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The ability to innoculate against all non-existent diseases

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The power to be immune to everything except for bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica

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To be be able to be and throw fire without being fireproof.

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the power to tell when someone is in your car

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!