The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

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Black power

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The power to heal someone's injuries by killing them.

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The power to take edible shits.

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The power to be the best driver in the world, when not moving.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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the power to ejaculate lava.

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The power to walk forward and walk backwards at the same time in a lying down position while your asleep having a wet dream about goat puppies.

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The power to easily persuade people to your opposing viewpoint

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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the most pointless super power is being able to create ugly chicks

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The power to come back to life just by yelling: I LIVE AGAIN! Or RESURRECTION! (which is not easy when you are dead)

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The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

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The power to look at huge breasts and avoid thinking about it.

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The power to know everyone's name before you meet them but you say it wrong every time

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The power to remember anyone's birthday unless you are at their birthday party.

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the power to win the crying game

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The power to have your right hand permanently glued to your face.

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!