The power to lower your IQ at will.

The power to be the only person who can save mankind from creatures that don't exist.

The power to die on the spot and not revive

The power to read your own thoughts.

The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

The power to waste time thinking of and uploading pointless superpowers

The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

The power to use very big words but only when your at a retarted people convention

Acid tears.

The power to be arrested for crimes you did not commit

The power to make time go 100 times slower when bored

The power to laugh at things, but only if it's funny.

The power to be well feed for a day, after you eat. Dinner

The power to predict what time it will be in 1 minute.

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

The power to create another human

The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

The power to keep up with the kardashians

The power to envision 1 possible death scenario for any person you look at.

The power to have no powers!

The power to never be cold, but only when it is above 80 degrees.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!