the ability to hover

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The power to understand the farmer in Hot Fuzz.

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Being able to see exactly 0.001419 seconds into the future

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The power to circumcise yourself

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The power to read minds, but only your own.

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the ability to be Bill Gates in bankruptcy

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the power to create carbon dioxide (its the stuff you breathe out)

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The power to have all the powers written in here

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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The power to permanently grow huge wonderful extremely heavy dragon wings, which do nothing but to weight you down and stand in the way. Fly? Nope, in fact you cant even walk now.

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The power that everytime someone sneezes, a living porpoise erupts from your anus.

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The power to unwillingly turn into a girl when you have sex with your girlfriend or turn into a guy when you have sex with your boyfriend.

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The power to get the most thumbs up`s on you`re comment.

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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The power to think of hilariously inappropriate jokes, but only at dinner parties with your parents.

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the ability to Sh!t while running at full speed

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the power to read something without looking at it

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The ability to enter the gender's changing room with no one noticing but losing the ability to see and feel.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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The ability to kill someone with your mind. But by doing so, you also die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!