Ingesting caffeine gives you the power to be a normal, competent human being.

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blindness

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The Power to sh*t your food before eating it.

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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the power to buy a size 11 shoe but needing a 15

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The ability to levitate but only if you're touching the ground

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The power to change the TV channel but only when the remote is in your hand

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The power to convert metric to imperial

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The Power of Super Speed only when you climb a ladder

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the ability to only eat chocolate in months that do not have an "r" in them.

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The ability to make your fingernails grow an inch whenever you like, but only on a Tuesday

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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the ability to turn into justin bieber, but they can only say i like you very much

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the power to talk to fish but not people

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The power to fly but fall when floating above the ground.

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The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

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The power to make sweet love to your mother just by caressing her between the legs for a while.

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The power to wink with both eyes

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The power to pee out your butt and poop out of your weenie

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The power to breath at will.

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The power to be awkwardly placed in serious pictures.

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The power to run people over with a tractor.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!