The power to grab a cats face

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The power to shoot "milk" from your crotch at will

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The power to make poorly drawn art in less time than it takes to blink.

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the ability to be on Oprah but only in the crowd

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The power to only make burnt toast

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The ability to shrink your penis

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The power to never sleep but still get tired

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The power to play all Videogames you want, but you have to pay the original price for them.

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A book on how to solve a paradix

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The power to turn your head 360 degrees

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Now you can stop the time for half a second, while walking against a strong wind.

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X-ray vision which only allows you to see through clothes that are made of glass.

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The power to travel through time to get through school but then fail at life.

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The power to kill any conversation you have.

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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The power to sing that lame "Tomorrow" song from Annie uncontrollaby on Dec. 21, 2012.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to see through slightly dirty windows

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The power to create ice out of thin air but only at -35 degree celcius and below.

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the power to switch your nose with your penis once a week, randomly and automatically.

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The power to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

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The power to be 10% more comfortable when sitting on a really uncomfortable couch.

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The power to see at night but only black objects.

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Being able to throw away the piece of toilet paper with which you wiped your ass without looking it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!