The ablility to think of the worst racial slurs, but only when a member of that race is nearby.

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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the power to fly while under water

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The ability to leap off buildings with a single bound.

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The power to digest food wrappers, but only once youve opened them.

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The power of X-ray Viion, that gives you Eye Cancer from the radiation

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the power to become slightly sticky

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The ability to teleport to the Taj Mahal whenever you want ONLY the Taj Mahal

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the power to be FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

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The power to taste the air.

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the ability to laugh when jay leno tells a joke.

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the power to milk cows with your mind

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Pointless Superpower? The United States, of course...

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The power to freeze time, but you're also frozen.

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The ability to live forever until you die.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to look TV

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The power to walk on your ASS Dude that's what I call ASS millage

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The power to summon unspendable money

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The ability to perfectly feign death for 10 days (no less), then wake up in a very small place.

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the power to glow fainlty in broad daylight

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the pwoer ot raed tihs wtirnig eilasy.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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to be under 9000

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!