The power to eat socks

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The power to come up with fantastic comebacks, at the person's funeral.

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The power to change the color of your piss

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The ability to select which ad you want to be shown on any website, but only once per day.

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The power to have to eat every 1 second.

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The power to have super-sonic hearing but only for one second every three hours.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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the power to freeze time by 10 secs but in the process freeze yourself too.

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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being able to see into the future, but completely forget upon returning to the present.

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The power to turn into a plant cell

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The ability to eat your enemies and get their powers only when your are starving to death.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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the power to turn people to stone but only if you look in the mirror

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the power to poo every time someone asks you out

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The power to laugh in Japanese.

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The Power to enjoy Justin Beiber's music....

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The power to be able to run at the speed of light only when you have no energy to stand up

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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The power to perfectly sing any song by Justin Bieber

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The ability to lose Russian rolette, once.

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The ability to change the color of your poop

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the ability to laugh like george bush

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!