The power to poop standing up

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The power to die at will.

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The power to walk over crisp packets 25% more quietly than the average person

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The power to summon a lamp... Once.

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The power to eat socks

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The power to have to eat every 1 second.

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The power to kill anyone who is 4 seconds away from certain death

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The ability to create very weak wifi with a 1000000 character password.

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The power to turn expensive drinks into shit flavored milk

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The power to dance excellently each time there is music... either you want to or not.

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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being able to see into the future, but completely forget upon returning to the present.

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the power to engage in prostitution, unless you are a prostitute.

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The power to turn into a plant cell

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The Power to Combust

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Immunity to everything, except diseases that cause death.

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The power to cook 3 minute noodles in under 1 minute.

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The ability to produce water but only when under water.

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the power to turn people to stone but only if you look in the mirror

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The power of superspeed...which comes with horrible stamina and Asthma.

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the power to poo every time someone asks you out

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The ability to make Justin Beiber sing like a girl. Oh wait........

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!