The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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The power to walk through a unlocked door.

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The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to eat edible things.

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The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

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The power to be super jewish

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to press the "I have read and agree with the terms on service -" button without actually reading them.

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The power to turn water into ice but only in sub zero temperatures

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Der pawr tu speek kat langwage

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The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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the power to teleport but then immediatly cr@p your pants

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to see correctly with wearing glasses

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the ability to figure out exam questions, but only after the exam.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!