The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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The power to uncontrollably say a pun every sentence during funerals

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The ability to turn into any non-living object, but not back.

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to fly only when you're already in an airplane.

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The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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be able to levitate over the seats of public toilets (no more nastieness)

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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the power 2 grow a beard but only immeadlantly after shaving

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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The power to not laugh at midgets when your stoned.

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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Laser pointer vision.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to mentally control houseflies.

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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The power to have a power.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!