The power to let someone control your dick

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The Power to fart glitter

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The power to instantly faceplant when jumping

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Being able to wiggle your left pinky & right ring-finger exceptionally fast.

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The ability to cure anyone of AIDS for 37 seconds

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The power to grow the most sexy tits ever. (If your a straight man)

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The power to transform into a arab guy with a turban and long beard each time you enter an airport.

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The power to survive at absolute zero

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The power to convince people who already agreed with you.

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The power to get an evil purple aura around you and laugh evilly every time you answer something honestly.

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The power to grow cheese but only near a crazy hobo who is lactose intolerant.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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The power to be able to tie your shoe halfway, by using your mind.

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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the power to see through glass

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The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

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The power to slow down time while you are at school

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to break out of jail when you're not in jail.

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The power drown in water

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!