To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to ejaculate only when you're greeting someone

thumb_up thumb_down +76

the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

thumb_up thumb_down -14

To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the power to have an idea..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to peel stickers

thumb_up thumb_down +199

The power to tolerate rap music.

thumb_up thumb_down +456

the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

The power to get up early for school, only on the weekends

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to look extremely attractive, only when ugly people are looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the ability to not have to sleep as long as your procrastinating how ever if you dont sleep after 24 hours you will die if you try do anything productive thus you must procrastinate for the rest of your life

thumb_up thumb_down +38

the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

thumb_up thumb_down +121

The power to transform every book, note or image on the television into illegal child porn simply by being near them.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power of licking your own elbow and nose

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to make it inconveniently drizzle when crime is happening

thumb_up thumb_down -34

power to kill dead ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to create tree sap.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

the power to summon endless number of girls ages 6 to 13 but only if you 47 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +126

The power to throw chess pieces mildly accuratly,

thumb_up thumb_down +1,375

The ability to smell shit from miles away.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Farting at will

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!