Really bendy thumb

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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The ability to make your body colder in cold whether and hotter in hot whether

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The power to download anything you want to 99 percent complete.

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The power to shapeshift into a frog, but not the power to turn back

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The power to see events happen 0.04 seconds AFTER they occur

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The power to be Sexually Molested And Raped Twice and be smart at the same time.

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The power to stop time but if you do so you will also stop.

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The power to read people's minds, but only in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried

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The power to meme 20% harder

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The power to make grey spots appear on the wall, but only when u are peeing

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The power to look busy at work but only when the boss is not looking.

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the power to die

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Ability to make your eyes switch sockets

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The power to survive a car crash only if it's between 9 and 9.30 am.

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The ability to go 100% slower

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The power of night vision only when you are carrying a flashlight that is turned on.

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to get older every second

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

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The power to speak Spanish, but only to people who do not speak Spanish.

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The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!