The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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The power to pause and resume time, but you also pause yourself.

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The power to fly, but only when you're in water

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The power to sing but your mute

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for every time you get emotionally hurt part of you body actually decompose and die.

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The power to automaticly teleport over a cliff only when you are within 12.36 lightyears from one

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The power to fly when your in an airplane

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the power to know what kind of useless power would you prefer.

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the power to mimic what people are saying if they are dead and underwater

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The power to kill someone at 20 meters with your mind, but it doesn't work within 21 meters.

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The ability to talk to and have a conversation with boxes

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the power to fly that only activates when you REALLY want to kill yourself by leaping.

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power to make acid rain only when your are locked outside your house

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The power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to…

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The ability to turn your semen into spiders.

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the power to spontaneously shoot glitter out of your ass

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The power to create nothing out of nothing

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The power to mind reeds

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The power to lose the remote.

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The power to call any phone number in the world, but only when using a phone owned by someone you don't know.

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The power to cook bad meals.

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Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

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The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

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The ability to not be able to pronounce certain words, such as Idaho.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!