The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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the power to sell jars of bodily fluids for $25 each but get arressted shortly after

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The power to keep hair from growing on your head forever.

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the power to not watch south park

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The power to grow boobs

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Whatever dark, twisted Satanic ritualistic superpower it took to give birth to you you FUCKlNG ugly retard loser queerfag! Nero the clit collector.

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The power of being mysterious. Terribly mysterious. And possibly being capable of cutting guns in half with one's mind.

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The power to break your pinkie fingers every time you look at them.

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Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

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The ability to have pockets in your skin that can only fit carrots.

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The useless pewer to increase your useless power at will! Moral: THE POWER TO SPAWN IN THE CENTER OF THE SUN AFTER DEATH INCREASE!

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The power to have psi superpowers... but YOU NEED TO CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!

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The Power to turn all your friends into a one dollar bill.

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the power to make your voice sound like a two year old little girl's.

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The power to perpetually yawn.

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Hello.. I'm Captain Curteous & I'd jst like tol say F@@K THE LOT OF YOU. Oh no my powers are failing!!!!!

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7|-|3 p0\/\/3r 70 0|\|L'/ b3 4BL3 70 r34D 4|\|D \/\/r173 1|\| L337 $P34|

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The power to jump really high but get hurt when you fall back down :You now posses airborne suicide DUMBASS

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The power to burn ashes

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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The power to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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The power to dive through an ocean without having to breathe, but only if the ocean is made of vomit.

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!