The Superpower to return and never again fade, the day Moral Man stands against the whole world, the world may just be worth eliminating. Moral: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you dooown..

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The power to procrastinate so much, you don't even eat, and eventually die.

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The ability to be a plonk and post 'Pointless Super Powers' that aren't pointless and are could actually be quite useful.

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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the power to catch em' all

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to do something as powerful as thin air

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to eat your own head.

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The power to be invisible when absolutely nobody is watching you (including cameras)

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The power to take my legs off the floor while in a sitting position.

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Hat seduction. 'Nuff said.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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to poop a penny every year

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The power of the most useless power and have that power.

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the power to eat an apple in an instant but you dont like apples

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!