The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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power to have time to actually wright something funny in pointless superpowers

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The power to only see things that are a shade of orange if the date adds up to a divisor of Pi x enough to make it a whole number, if you are wearing a hat and have recently expeled bodily fluid

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the power to grow any one hair at any desirable lenght

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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The power not to dance while you're in a coma.

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Power To Throw Power Booger In Every 5 Seconds

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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shit and piss at the same time

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The power to change your hair's color to white when you're old.

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The power to slowly float upward with awesome evil aura whenever you laugh evilly (just like in the movies/anime/etc) Only to realize you are stuck up there until someone gets a crane or something to get you down...

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the power to read your own thoughts

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the power to turn into the hardest material in the whole of space but while in that mode you cant move

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to make it inconveniently drizzle when crime is happening

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The power to always know the exact time.

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The power to turn into a laptop forever

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The power to be normal.

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The power to live forever but only in a coma.

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!