the power to read your own thoughts

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to telepathically fold paper.

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The ability to live forever but age quicker.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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waffling. The power to eat as many waffels as you want without getting full. But you can`t share!

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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THE POWER TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT PRESSING THE BUTTON

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The power to appear dancing like a girl at the background of every Justin Bieber "music" "video"

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The Power to Power

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power to eat 500000 big macs in a day

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the power to have to pee on a long road trip and there are no bathrooms around.

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the power to be in AA.

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The power to jump as high 1/2 / 2 feet off the ground

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The power to fly in tornadoes

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The power to see when your eyes are not closed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!