Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The power to vote for the Presidential candidate of your choice, only to be overruled by the Florida Supreme Court.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to erect your nipples at will.

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The power to forget you have a super power.

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The power to think about a location and forget that you travelled all the way there, making you think you can teleport.

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The power to see through womens clothes, but your gay.

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to obey gravity

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the power to sneeze whenever you want

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The power to release the bogus

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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power to transform into a dick with legs

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The Power To Make Justin Bieber.

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The power to do a hand stand with your feet

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The ability to simultaneously implode and explode.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!