the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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power to transform into a dick with legs

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cry acid tears

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The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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the power to be powerless

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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The power to have anything in the world you will never ever need in your life

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The Power to rot you favorite food by looking at it

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The power of christ ;)

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The power to buy free things.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to vomit every time you look at a cat.

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the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to move things by 1cm with your mind.l

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The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

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The power to make jokes about death while performing dangerous surgery or defusing a bomb

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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To change your eye colour when ever you want

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!