The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

ability to smack the crap out of austin calhounh and laugh at him

the power to be friends with Donald trump

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

the power to make sounds by vibrating your vocal cords.

The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

The ability to count to potato

The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

The power to think about a location and forget that you travelled all the way there, making you think you can teleport.

75% levitation

the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

The power of bad luck

Harnessing Homoeopathic wisdom.

The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

Ability to be Stephen Hawking's stunt double.

The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

The power to make money disappear.

The power to be invisible, when no cameras or people are looking.

the power to summon rick astley whenever you want to, but only when you're the only one in the room, so only you can hear him

The power to see through things that are invisible.

The power to pee, REALLY LOUD.

The power to impress a mentally disabled person by doing absolutely nothing

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!