The power to masturbate only when someone is watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

the power to create a meme

thumb_up thumb_down -54

The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

The ability to use the "wait" function from skyrim/fallout in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

To be able to bend glass at will but if any of the glass breaks you break with it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The power to be powerless.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The ability to become shit forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

the power to shit yourself when kissing someone.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

thumb_up thumb_down -46

The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to see where light is not present.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!