The ability to be a rock

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The power to dance excellently each time there is music... either you want to or not.

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The power to jump 1 centimeter off the ground and be hungry and if you don't get food within a nano second you'll die of exposure to any form of matter

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to drink bleach in a gatorade bottle

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The power to never finish your sentences because

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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The power to change lemonade into lemons.

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to randomly self destruct at any time

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time travel that ownly have 5 time before loose it

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

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the power to sit

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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the power to enter a coma.

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The power to telekinetically pull sharp objects towards you at incredible speeds.

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The power to touch MC Hammer.

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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the power to travel to parallel universes where the power to travel to parallel universes doesnt exist

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!