The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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the power of having super fast growing body hair. It grows a half inch a day.

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The power to break bones at will.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power to wish you had a power

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The Superpower to return and never again fade, the day Moral Man stands against the whole world, the world may just be worth eliminating. Moral: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you dooown..

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

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Ability to be Austin Calhoun when hes sick

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The power to get any car you want but once it runs out of gas you have to get a new one and can not be the same model.

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The power to become paralyzed whenever you're aroused.

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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The ability to not have a super power.

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the power to control nothing

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Liam Brudenell

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!