The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The power to transform into anyone, but only in caricature form.

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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The power that will grant you no power.

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The power of being able to see 1 day into the past

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The Power to believe you have superpowers

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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Having Wolverine’s ability to healing from any damage, but still healing at a normal human rate of recovery.

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The power to create mysterious stains on your clothes.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to change place with any famous boxer everytime he gets hit. Moral: Hate me, love me... in the end you cannot hate what you do not care about do you? Remember this, when someone hates you, its simply because they care and worry about you... probably the only moral that makes sense... life is beautiful, thank you haters, thank you lovers, and you know what they say... haters gonna hate... they are all just a fluffy bunch of people that care too much :)

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to change colors to the excact same as before.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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The power to take perfectly timed photos when nothing interesting is going on.

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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the power to fire my lazer

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!