The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power to turn into random objects

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The Power to sh*t your food before eating it.

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the power to walk on walls but not on the floor

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The power to forget how to swim.

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The power to inhale coins without dying.

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The power to communicate with applesauce.

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to shoot off your clothes at any moment while using your hands and feet

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The power to see into the present

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The power of being able to fly, but only on February 30th.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to become severely depressed and suicidal whenever you feel the slight sensation of happiness.

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The power to drain people's phone battery

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The power to summon garden mushrooms in the top of your head every time you're having a serious talk to anyone

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The power to bread toast!

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The power to make any girl hate you

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The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

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The power to be french.

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The ability to fly while on a plane. You can only do this at the same altitude and speed of the plane.

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The power to believe that Mac Donalds burgers look exactly like the pictures that advertise them.

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The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

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The power to transform money into a foreign currency of lesser value.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!