The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

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The super power to shine in daylight

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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The power to breath Earth's air, but if you stop breathing, or breath something other than air, you die.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to jump 1 inch higher.

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power of singing piano playing and color blindness. Moral: "The skies are orange! Blue Roses too"

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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the power to fire my lazer

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!