The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to waste money

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The power to speak only one language

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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The power to control people minds, but in the world only remains a few blonds and you.

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The power to act like Tommy Wiseau

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!