The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

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the ability to hold your breath for ever while being on land

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teleport to the place where you stand

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The power to be special just like everyone else.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The power to do nothing with your life.

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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See through invisible people

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The power of tasting irresistibly delishush whenever anyone gets hungry.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!