The Power to touch MC Hammer

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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open up pickles glass

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The power to make dead batteries appear.

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The power to not get shit dick

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The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

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The ability to pull open push only doors

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The power to part clouds when there are no clouds.

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the power to summon rick astley whenever you want to, but only when you're the only one in the room, so only you can hear him

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to tolerate Justin Bieber.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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anything Aquaman does

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The power to run at the average speed of a normal person running.

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The power to smell like body odor at will

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The power to see through glass

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!