being allergic to dairy and soy

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the power to do nothing

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Vanilla scented blood

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The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The power to be able to fall asleep instantly

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a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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the ability to hold your breath for ever while being on land

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teleport to the place where you stand

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The power to be special just like everyone else.

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The power to eat pop-tarts as soon as they pop out of the toaster

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to do nothing with your life.

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The Power To Only Be Able To Move Yourself (including wheelchairs and all that) 1 meter in the entire life of the universe

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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the ability to turn into the body of a car. Just the body, no engine, no wheels, nothin, just the body

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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the power to only have to go to the bathroom once a year but smell like poop the whole year.

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!