- Pointless Super Powers

The power to sleep anytime and anywhere in an instant, but, u can never blink.

The power to make everything worse

The ability to fold paper 12 times

The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

being allergic to dairy and soy

Liam Brudenell

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

The power to turn water into ice but only in sub zero temperatures

The power to volunteer as tribute.

You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

The power to grow more genitals.

The power to control the weather, but only in space

the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

The power to shrink your private parts.

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

The power to make clean socks dirty.

The power drown in water

The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!