The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power that will grant you no power.

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The power of having the answer to every possible question, but also to have no way of describing said answers!

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The ability to find objects in the last place you look

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to know where the beef is

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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The power to stay dry in the rain, while indoors.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

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The power drown in water

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to jump face first

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!