the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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the power to time travel to the present

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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sdrawkcab gnipyt ta dab eb tub sdrawkcab daer ot rewop eht

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to lick your own elbow

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The ability to hid your cats right ear for strenuous amounts of time

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The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

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the power to send text messages while driving

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!