The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

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The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

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The power to hurt other people by hurting yourself, and you both sustain the damage.

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The power to suck your own dick

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to push "pull" doors

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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sdrawkcab gnipyt ta dab eb tub sdrawkcab daer ot rewop eht

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boo

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to become normal the point is he has no powers

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The power to smell farts from miles away

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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the ability to be 2Pac the day he got shot

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THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!