the ability to blow yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

the power to teleport to the center of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to autocorrect without using autocorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The ability to turn anything into a belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power that will grant you no power.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

the power to crap out bite-sized super heroes.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

to make your bowel work backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The ability to change your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The power to suck your own dick

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

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The power to be a common person

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!