The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to play games in your head but have seizures doing so.

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The power to make Justin Bieber be dead but only when you are listening to someone good at singing

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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the power to talk backwards

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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the power to create carbon dioxide (its the stuff you breathe out)

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the power of the Anti-petter gun, which fires bullshit over the moon.

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the power to get sick

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The power to random things that you touch into the same thing but a different color

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The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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the power to be a master carpenter, make anything, except love.

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to Master Bait, endlessly without getting satisfaction. Moral: A little less conversation, a little more action please...

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The power to make a sound that attracts whales

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the ability to spin gold into straw

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!