The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

thumb_up thumb_down +78

To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to turn into random objects

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The Power to Breath When Ur dead

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The super power to do something pointless when you can be doing something pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +40

the power to be Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Be able to create fire with your hands but you are not invisible to it

thumb_up thumb_down +141

The power to waste money

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to eat soup with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to always have the worst thing possible happen

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power to change $100 to 100 $1

thumb_up thumb_down +115

The power to produce a hand vacuum from your belly button that only sucks up lint for your belly button

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power of having enough money to buy anything, but in only pennies.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power to make any liquid luke warm (it works both ways)

thumb_up thumb_down +109

The power of immortality while suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

the power to fly, with a string atachted to you

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The power to misspell when tyring to spell qukcily

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!