----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to have a device to turn the tv off without touching it!!! :O

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The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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to poop a penny every year

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The power to see the past. Only the past. Never the present.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!