The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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The power of perfect 20/20 hindsight

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the power to become translucent

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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Being alive (until you die).

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the power to poop dogs without fur.

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The power to whenever your punched you cry a lot of asid that burns your flesh

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The ability to get up early for school, but only on weekends.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

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The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!