The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The Superpower to DEMAND thumbs ups! Moral: Is it really pointless? Consider this a social experiment of mine, I mean the "pewer" one made my day, thank you everybody, I am used to thumb my comments up myself so they stay a bit longer (being modest as always), thanks.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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The power to not get shit dick

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the power to find children extremely attractive

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

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The power to play Call of Duty for free, if you've already bought the game not for free.

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The power to remember and talk about random Pokémon facts during a life and death situation.

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The ability to find objects in the last place you look

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The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

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the power to create carbon dioxide (its the stuff you breathe out)

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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The power to have to answer to morons while I put morals under EVERY one of my comments... Moral: At this point asking you makes you a trucking moron. Moral: Just to annoy you. Moral: And everyone is pointless so if you get annoyed, well that is your pointless superpower... hahaha!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!